I’m moving to New York City.
I’m moving to New York City.
weallsliponice asked: Behind the name for: Alibi :)
Wow it’s been less than 12 hours.. bitches move fast.
Alright well Alibi is mostly known for it’s legal reference. I’m sure everyone knows that an “Alibi” is when you provide a story that shows you were somewhere else during the time of the crime. In Latin, “Alibi” literally translates to “elsewhere” which is quite gorgeous. All of my meanings of my titles are having to do with the place my mind is. So currently, my mind is elsewhere. I mean that in two ways.
Alibi is a gorgeous word.
Anonymous asked: behind the name; for safe?
I had this very heartwarming conversation with my stepdad and mom and brother. Basically, the 4 of us are living in a small 2 bedroom apartment and it’s been getting sort of tense.
My stepdad is a very nice man, but he bottles up any minor frustrations he has. On that night, he yelled at me and my mom. We were both so off put that we had no idea what to say.
Eventually we got to the core of it. My mom, my brother, and I are all very close. We have a dark sense of humor that we’ve developed and big part of that is ganging up on each other. My stepdad is not used to that so he gets offended. A combination of that and the fact that he has a fear of being stupid. In fact, he thinks he’s stupid.
My stepdad is a wonderfully interesting man. You’ll be talking about socks and all of sudden he’ll bring up dragons because he thinks it’s relevant to the conversation. His mind works in amazing ways and thats why I laugh at him. I think it’s hilarious that he operates on such a different field than we do.
This is where the name comes from:
So after we talked it out, I ended up having a break down. I told them that I felt so scared in this apartment all the time because I didn’t want him to yell at me or anything. My stepdad then told me that he fucked up and that his stepdad beat him physically and emotionally and he was terrified of him. He didn’t want that for me.
He started crying and told me that he told my mom the night before that he wants to start hugging me and spending more time with me. He said that he wasn’t fortunate enough to help raise me so he wanted to have as much time with me as he could before I went off to New York.
At that moment, he got up and hugged me. With tears still roaring down both of our eyes he said “I love you. I really really love you. I want you to know that.” and then I sat back down and he got down on a knee and said “We’re going to make it work.”
It was easily one of the most beautiful nights of my life. After that, I started finally feeling safe in my apartment.
So I’ve started college now and my best friend Aaron left. My life feels really different. I’m totally out of my comfort zone and I really have grown to like it. I love my classes! I love that people are actually interested in being there. I had a full on discussion with the entire class about sexuality and the mass media. It was so interesting to hear everyones opinions and views on how open the media is/should be.
I like learning from my peers and seeing different perspectives. I like preparing for NYC next year. I like having this period of transition and overall, I’m pretty damn happy!
So this time in my life is appropriately called Lost. After leaving high school, I’m a lot more unprepared than I thought. My plan is still working, but I have this feeling of “what the hell am I doing?”. It’s new and unfamiliar, but I enjoy it.
When I say lost, I don’t mean it in a negative way. I’ve planned out most of life and the feeling of being unplanned always scared. Now, it doesn’t scare me. This thing I fear for so long all of sudden isn’t a fear anymore and I really love that.
Every couples I months I change my blog title to fit with my situation of that time. I just changed “Almost” to “Lost” so before I write about why I choose “Lost” I wanted to write something about why the worst “Almost” was so significant.
When I wrote the title of that time, I had just taken my test to leave high school. I didn’t know if I passed and I was extremely anxious. If you know me, then you know my plan for my future is quite detailed an it all started with passing this test.
So at this point in time. I was almost close enough to start my life and as you guys know, I passed and I don’t think the word almost is appropriate anymore.